Here is my teaching notes from last Sunday. I would love to answer any question you have about the biblical concept of ”headship and submission.” Feel free to comment on this post. Also if you would like to listen to this sermon you can download it by following the link:
Exile_6
Practically Exiled | Part 3
1 Peter 3:7-12
Proclaim & Display (1 Peter 2:9-11)
It is important to understand that Peter’s desire in 1 Peter 2:9-3:12 is to establish the fact that as the people of God (chosen, holy, special, and beloved) we have both the honor and responsibility to display the power of the gospel to the doubting world around us. The counter intuitive or paradoxical truth Peter reveals is that through willful submission, the church individually and corporately displays the power of the gospel. The ultimate question is this, “Will you live for the glory of Jesus through joyful submission or will you live to establish yourself and your own rights? Submission is the call of all Christians.
1 Peter 3:1-6
Display The Gospel Through Being Women Of Beautiful
Faith & Fearless Submission (1 Peter 3:1-6)
We talked about the Roots Of Gospel Centered Womanhood (Hope In God, Focus Internally, Fearless), We Defined Marriage (Picture Of Christ Covenant Love For The Church) then discussed What Submission Is Not, and finally Defined Submission as the gospel centered calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help him carry it through according to her gifts.
Display The Gospel Through Being Men of Grace-Filled
Leadership & Christ-Like Sacrifice (1 Peter 3:7)
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Roots of Gospel Centered Manhood
1. Gospel Centered Men Submit To The Role of Responsible Leaders
Peter begins to address husbands in verse 7 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding” The phrase “likewise “ could be translated “in the same way”. This phrase does not mean that in some way they are meant to submit to their wives. Instead, husbands are told to submit to the command to “dwell with understanding.” Most translate this idea in such a way that the husbands are encouraged to be kind and considerate in their relationship their wives. But, this shifts the focus slightly away from the meaning of the text. The phrase “with understanding” is literally translated “in fear” (like in 3:2), or “fear God in 2:19. Thus, I take this to mean that Peter is speaking of the fact that the husband’s relationship with God informs his relationship with his wife. The husband should live informed by God on how he ought conduct himself a husband. The consistent teaching of the Bible is that men are supposed to be responsible leaders. Men tend to be cut from one of two molds (Wimp or Warrior). Wimps are lazy and passive, while Warriors tend to have a “divide and conquer” mentality. Both are far cry from biblical leadership.
2. Gospel Centered Men Acknowledge Uniqueness Of Womanhood
The wife here is described as the “weaker vessel.” So the question is, in what sense is a women “weaker” than a man? Most suggest this is simply pointing to the physical and biological difference in men and women. I disagree as both the KJV and ESV places “giving honor” as the thrust of the reason for the acknowledgement of the difference between a man and a woman. Peter means for the “weakness” of the woman to be a reason for honor. Thus, I believe Peter is calling men to honor those characteristics that are unique to gospel centered womanhood and to take the initiative to compliment those characteristics with gospel centered manhood (example: Adam and Eve).
3. Gospel Centered Men Uphold The Equality of Men And Women Before God
Peter tells the husband to understand that his wife and by extension all women are “heirs together (with them) of the grace of life.” The point is that women are fundamentally equal with men before God. Men should honor women because they have the same destiny. Husbands that ignore such commands will suffer rejection form God.
The Role Men & Women In The Context of Marriage
-God Has Clearly Defined The Roles Of Men & Women In The Context Of Marriage
Consider Ephesians 5:22-25. Husbands are compared to Christ and wives are compared to the Church. Husbands are compared to the head and wives are compared to the body. Husbands are commanded to love as Christ loved and wives are commanded submit as the church submits to Christ. Some have stated that the concept of headship and submission was a product of the curse in the Garden of Eden. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Rather, the fall of man destroyed the beauty of marriage by twisting a man’s headship from a humble, loving leadership toward domination in some men and lazy indifference in others. It twisted women’s intelligent, willing, happy creative, articulate submission toward manipulative, passive aggressiveness in some women and humiliating insubordination in others.
-Headship Springs From An Understanding Of Man’s Role As A Primary Leader
First, the word for “Head” is used for leaders in the O.T. For example, in Judges 11:11 “So Jephthah went with the elders to Gilead, and the people made him head and lead over them. Second, Ephesians 1:21-23 says that Christ is “above every name that is name…and God has put all things underneath his feet and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, which is his body.” The emphasis is on his authority over the church and leadership as the head of the church. 3rd, in Ephesians 5:25 Paul says, “Husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.” What can not be overlooked here is the decisive action that Jesus took in rescuing the church. He did not respond to the church. The church did not plan its own salvation. Christ did. This is leadership, servant leadership…grace-filled leadership.
-Headship Can Be Defined As The Gospel Centered Calling Of A Husband To Take Primary Responsibility For Christ-like, Servant Leadership, Protection, and Provision In The Home
There are four areas where men should take the primary leadership role in the home. 1. Leadership In Spiritual Provision: Men are to take the initiative to lead their families spiritually. (Family Worship, Church Involvement Stewardship Of Gifts and Resources). 2. Leadership In Physical Provision: Men have the primary responsibility to put bread on the table. Men and women both work, but it is the man’s primary responsibility. 3. Leadership In Spiritual Protection: Men must practice biblical discernment and courage. How does this play out? 1st men should know how the gospel connects to all of life. 2nd, they should pray. 3rd, men should set the standard with the help of their wives for the family. 4th, men should love their wives. 4. Leadership In Physical Protection: Don’t be a punk. Know your city. (See: “This Momentary Marriage” By John Piper)
Display The Gospel Through Being A Church That Fights
For Unity & Lives Out Forgiveness (1 Peter 3:8-12)
Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For “ He who would love life And see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil.”